What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
