WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's even glitter on my cock...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
