You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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