it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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