I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
