I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
