I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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