Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize