He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
