Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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