I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
