Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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