shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize