She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
