She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
