according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
