He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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