There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize