you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
