Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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