what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every concussion has its silver lining
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
