worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Terrible idea I love it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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