the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
