Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
