I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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