The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize