i will never coherently bang her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize