belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
