Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
