I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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