look no pants
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
