I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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