the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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