ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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