Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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