So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
