There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
did i just pee glitter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
