i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
