I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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