you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize