We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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