did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize