he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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