flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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