apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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