She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
