It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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