I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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