I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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