i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
