Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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