I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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