kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
