do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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