So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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