his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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