I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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