Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
