So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
