shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
